If Men Are From Mars...

If men are from Mars and women are from Venus where in hell do 15 year olds come from?

I don't think that I would have the strength, patience or personal fortitude to raise a 15 year old today. Today's 15 year old is different from any mammal that I have ever met. Now mind you I was no saint at 15 and neither were my three girls when they passed through that age but I don't remember living through the issues I now hear parents talking about. How their kids are rude, no not rude, they are mean. They do mean spirited things to the people closest to them. They say hurtful things and post them on their my space, my face and whatever else they have in cyber space that captures their every breathing moment. Whatever happened to the diary that you kept locked and held close and went ballistic when your younger sibling would sneak and read it and then blurt those most private thoughts at the worst possible moment. Whatever happened to teenagers wanting their privacy? Now they post everything from what they had for breakfast to what underwear they are wearing and how many times a day they move their bowels. Does anyone really want to know all this. Does anyone really care. Don't teens want to retain some sense of wonder about themselves. Why are 15 year old girls posting pictures of themselves scantily clad in the latest Victoria Secret ensemble. Guess they don't care about the milk and the cow. It almost seems like they figure anything they do before 18 will be expunged from memory. Do any of these kids think of holding office one day. Will they explain their actions by saying "I was only 15, everyone did it?". We were so afraid that something in our permanent record would keep us from the college of our choice that we often times actually considered the consequences of our actions. Do 15 year olds today face consequences? Are they held accountable for their actions or do today's parents enlist good lawyers, or pay to have things handled? Everything from broken windows, to underage drinking and in some cases murder. I am not exaggerating about the murder. You have the young girl who had a baby, stuffed it in the trunk of her volkswagon in a duffel bag. What happened to her? I can tell you this, she didn't do time for murder.

And, what is this thing of not caring about their grades. We were so competitive when we were in high school that no one wanted to be the one not making honor roll. The next generation was not as competitive but they understood the importance of their grades and worked hard to gain good ones. Are today's teens so convinced that mommy and daddy will pull strings to get them into the school of their choice or just be so glad that they are going to school that they know their parents will dish out any amount of money to make them successful.

Ah, maybe that is the issue. While you and I had to work for what we wanted, today's kids have everything handed to them. They act out - buy them xBox, that treat you like crap - buy them those UGG boots they wanted, they embarrass you in public - get them the Coach handbag or the $250 sneakers. Anything to maybe bribe them to do the right thing. I think the psych's call this reinforcing bad behavior. So these enigma's weren't spawned from seeds left here by aliens, they were created by their parents.

Maybe what today's teen needs is some real tough love and maybe what the parents need is some backbone. Maybe parents need to not worry about pissing their kids off. They are kids! Maybe parents should take a novel approach to dealing with their kids like saying no and not putting money in their hand every time they stick it out. Maybe the 15 year old needs to start understanding what it means to really work for something. I know that we all want our kids to have a better and easier life than we did. This is one of the reasons that we as their parents work so hard, but maybe just maybe we have robbed them of something in the process. Maybe we have created these aliens from Jupiter or Saturn. Maybe in an effort to ensure they have the best of everything we have shortchanged them. If you don't expect to still be raising them at 30 you better handle these issues at 15.

Parents be parents and stop being fairy godmothers or godfathers. Hold your kids accountable for their actions and allow them to learn that no means no. If they want something let them earn it because once they leave your address no one else is going to hand them anything.

So if men are from Mars and women are from Venus 15 year olds should be well grounded right here on Earth. We can do this.