Don't Let Your Job Define You

Don't let your job define who you are and don't let it become your life.


Why is it when you meet someone for the first time or, you run into someone you haven't seen for some time, the conversation always gets to that all important question "So, what do you do [now]. These five sometimes 6 little words become that moment of judgement. All of a sudden your self-worth and self-esteem hang in the balance. Will what you do label you as a success or a failure. Will what you do validate what folks always thought about you. You know like when the neighbors would say "you know that Jones boy will never amount to much; he's slow isn't he" or, "that Miller girl is so bright you know she will go far".


As you shift from side to side you start to weigh the response options unless of course, you are ridiculously successful. You start to ask yourself how often do I see this person anyway, who are our mutual acquaintances. Do I see these people on a regular or semi-regular basis. Hell, I am doing okay but what are they doing. People only really ask that question when they want to brag about themselves. Do I measure up and who's doing the darn measuring anyway. And if I don't measure up to whatever the standard is, do I care. Now you know this is all split second thinking going on here. Kind of like your life passing in front of your eyes type of thing. Do I embellish or remain sufficiently vague? What were those words I used on my last resume when I decided to return to the workforce from stay at home mom - successful budget manager, event planner, highly flexible and the ability to handle many tasks with demanding time lines. What the hell!

Why does it matter what I do. And, to come right out and say it bluntly why should you give a frickin' frac. My job or career, like my hair, does not define me. It doesn't sum me up nicely. It doesn't represent why I exist. Unless maybe I am a famous brain surgeon that removed a tumor from the most famous genius in the world or a research scientist on the brink of finding a cure for some world ravaging disease. But really, don't let your job or even the lack thereof define you because the reality is one day it may all change. Then what.

Too often our persona, the essence of who we are and how we describe ourselves is tied to what we do for a living. And this role becomes so intertwined with our personal lives that it then somehow begins to define whether we view ourselves as a success or failure. As a result your true self is lost. And when in a flash it is all gone due to retirement or the economy down turn, or some other planned or unplanned event, you are left with a shattered identity and the additional task of getting to know who you really are.

Don't let your job or career define you.

It is not a good feeling when you wake up one day and have no place to go, no one to reach out to and you don't recognize the person in the mirror. Don't allow yourself to be in a position that when stripped of your company id you can't id yourself.

Grow, be successful, keep your sense of drive but most importantly keep your sense of self. The next time someone asks the question "what do you do" tell them "I take nothing for granted. I live each day to the fullest. I love my family, and I look forward to tomorrow; that is what I do".

Don't let your job define you!