Retrospect

In order to move forward to the new year you have to take stock of what occurred in the ending year.

Family: Family was good in 2008, for the most part. We are all still calling and visiting each other, that is a good sign. No major illnesses (God's blessings)We had one addition to the immediate family Karla got married to Tim (social event of the season), there was one was one addition to the extended family - welcome Ethan. We probably had no more and a heck of a lot less drama than any other family.

Politics: The country saw one of the best campaigns in our recent political history. Americans stepped to the plate and put country first and in doing so elected the first African-American to the highest political position in the land. Barack Obama brought life and hope back to the policitical process. We saw Sarah Palin a moose hunting, past beauty queen, small town Alaskan mayor rise from obscurity to world fame as she was named to the republican ticket as John McCain's vice-presidential running mate. Her extensive foreign policy experience - she can see Russia from her porch coupled with her breadth and depth of general world events - she couldn't name one major publication or newspaper that she reads on a daily basis, nailed her qualifications for this position that is a heart beat away from the presidency. And that heart beat was something to really be concerned with seeing that her running mate was well over 70 years old.

Economy: means woe is me. The financial crisis has been the biggest f***k job ever. Billions given to banking as a major bailout but no one has benefited except the bankers. People continue to lose their homes. But mind you many of these folks were/are in homes they could not afford to begin with. That is a whole different story for another day. But I will say those of us fighting to do the right thing, bought homes we could afford are paying our mortgages we get no breaks, no bailouts, no one is telling us we can miss a few payments but I digress. According to the losses we have incurred it will take about 10 years to make up. That means additional years have been added to my retirement plan but I am not alone in this, many of us will work longer as a result of banker greed and large company mismanagement. Companies we did not work for but which we all own some part of since it is our dollars that keep them afloat.

Legends lost: Eartha, Bernie, Paul, Isaac, and so many more. And to those that never got the chance - the service warriors - men and women- to create their legend we say God Bless...
Entertainment: Found it all pretty boring. Real life was much more interesting.

So in retrospect it was a year we all got through. For 2009 I plan to enjoy my family, continue to track Barack and offer whatever support I can to help push his agenda forward and finally continue to work for my future.

If Men Are From Mars...

If men are from Mars and women are from Venus where in hell do 15 year olds come from?

I don't think that I would have the strength, patience or personal fortitude to raise a 15 year old today. Today's 15 year old is different from any mammal that I have ever met. Now mind you I was no saint at 15 and neither were my three girls when they passed through that age but I don't remember living through the issues I now hear parents talking about. How their kids are rude, no not rude, they are mean. They do mean spirited things to the people closest to them. They say hurtful things and post them on their my space, my face and whatever else they have in cyber space that captures their every breathing moment. Whatever happened to the diary that you kept locked and held close and went ballistic when your younger sibling would sneak and read it and then blurt those most private thoughts at the worst possible moment. Whatever happened to teenagers wanting their privacy? Now they post everything from what they had for breakfast to what underwear they are wearing and how many times a day they move their bowels. Does anyone really want to know all this. Does anyone really care. Don't teens want to retain some sense of wonder about themselves. Why are 15 year old girls posting pictures of themselves scantily clad in the latest Victoria Secret ensemble. Guess they don't care about the milk and the cow. It almost seems like they figure anything they do before 18 will be expunged from memory. Do any of these kids think of holding office one day. Will they explain their actions by saying "I was only 15, everyone did it?". We were so afraid that something in our permanent record would keep us from the college of our choice that we often times actually considered the consequences of our actions. Do 15 year olds today face consequences? Are they held accountable for their actions or do today's parents enlist good lawyers, or pay to have things handled? Everything from broken windows, to underage drinking and in some cases murder. I am not exaggerating about the murder. You have the young girl who had a baby, stuffed it in the trunk of her volkswagon in a duffel bag. What happened to her? I can tell you this, she didn't do time for murder.

And, what is this thing of not caring about their grades. We were so competitive when we were in high school that no one wanted to be the one not making honor roll. The next generation was not as competitive but they understood the importance of their grades and worked hard to gain good ones. Are today's teens so convinced that mommy and daddy will pull strings to get them into the school of their choice or just be so glad that they are going to school that they know their parents will dish out any amount of money to make them successful.

Ah, maybe that is the issue. While you and I had to work for what we wanted, today's kids have everything handed to them. They act out - buy them xBox, that treat you like crap - buy them those UGG boots they wanted, they embarrass you in public - get them the Coach handbag or the $250 sneakers. Anything to maybe bribe them to do the right thing. I think the psych's call this reinforcing bad behavior. So these enigma's weren't spawned from seeds left here by aliens, they were created by their parents.

Maybe what today's teen needs is some real tough love and maybe what the parents need is some backbone. Maybe parents need to not worry about pissing their kids off. They are kids! Maybe parents should take a novel approach to dealing with their kids like saying no and not putting money in their hand every time they stick it out. Maybe the 15 year old needs to start understanding what it means to really work for something. I know that we all want our kids to have a better and easier life than we did. This is one of the reasons that we as their parents work so hard, but maybe just maybe we have robbed them of something in the process. Maybe we have created these aliens from Jupiter or Saturn. Maybe in an effort to ensure they have the best of everything we have shortchanged them. If you don't expect to still be raising them at 30 you better handle these issues at 15.

Parents be parents and stop being fairy godmothers or godfathers. Hold your kids accountable for their actions and allow them to learn that no means no. If they want something let them earn it because once they leave your address no one else is going to hand them anything.

So if men are from Mars and women are from Venus 15 year olds should be well grounded right here on Earth. We can do this.

Lose The Luggage

In a few days we will begin a new year, 2009. Another year to get it all right. A clean slate. For some a new beginning.

Many will make resolutions. Folks will resolve to lose weight, resolve to do better at their job or in school or maybe some will resolve to quit smoking or drinking. But why not make this the year to lose the personal luggage, drop the baggage, stop harboring bad feelings.

The personal luggage/baggage are those things that other folks have dumped off on you and you have accepted or some that you have created for yourself. It is the stress you experience as you try to not let anyone down. I look at folks everyday and I will tell you some look absolutely miserable, brows are knotted, mouths turned down, they walk with a bend in their back and if some of them walk any slower they will come to a complete stop. I can only think that it must be the weight of the baggage they carry. Maybe the baggage is the feeling (or reality) of being drained by their family or friends. Or, maybe it is not being happy with who they are or where they are in this stage of their life. Maybe it is the disagreement they had with their best friend the last time they saw them years ago.

Instead of resolving to go the gym and eat fewer sweets maybe the next few days should be spent looking inside of yourself to determine what will make you a happier person. It can be as simple as not saying yes to every request that comes your way, being a little selfish of your time that everyone else uses so freely. It could be not overextending yourself and not letting people make you feel guilty about it. You know that feeling if I don't do it what will they do. Well, if you don't do it what will they do? They will find another way to get what they need. While you may feel badly for the moment it passes and is a much better feeling in the long run. You don't consciously or subconsciously resent them, you are not stressed about how you are going to meet the commitment and, the one making the request to begin with has found either they can live without what they were asking for or, they have found another way to get it. First piece of baggage left on the curb.

Maybe it is picking up the phone and calling someone that you have been estranged from, at this point it doesn't matter why you had the fight. It probably has come down to who will be the first one to reach out. And, even if you reach out and they don't reciprocate, at least you made the attempt. Another bag left on the curb.

As you go through the process of introspection find the things that weigh you down and one by one unload them. It won't happen all at once, it may take all year. But if you take the time to identify your baggage and then take the small steps to lighten the load you will find yourself laughing more and stressing less. The headaches will start to fade, it will be easier to stick to that new eating behavior, you'll do better in school or on your job and slowly you will become a happier person. Try it. It works, trust me.

Shrines

The other day while stopped at the light at 52nd and Lancaster I looked out the window and my eye caught a pile of dirty stuffed toys, some were tied to a post others strewn on the ground. There were candles and a tee-shirt. This came into my head.

Shrines

They stood and marveled at the memorial.

The flowers, and candles and teddy bears that stretched for quite a ways.

This is what we do when a member of our community dies.

We create shrines.

But the young child in the back of the group

spoke more to himself than anyone else.

Don't remember me like this, he said.

If I should be so unfortunate to wind up dead,

This is not be the memory I want.

Do not write on your cars RIP with me.

Do not make up those sad T-shirts reflecting back my face

when I no longer hold physically a place.

If I should be so unlucky to die

from a stray bullet or

one aimed with a perfect eye

Don't Let It Be In Vain

Use it as a reason to make our neighborhood sane.

Educate so the next one does not die

Eradicate so we don't stand around

head in hand wailing Why Why Why

Don't light a candle or tie a stuffed toy to a tree.

Don't hold a vigil for false leaders to rant, and talk about me.

Hold feet to the fire

and put this craziness to an end.

Should I have the misfortune of winding up dead,

honor my memory by taking action on what I said.

Simply the Best

Step back Beyonce, sit down Brittany and Madonna, take note. If you ladies haven't already done so you, along with all these up and comers and those that think they have arrived should make homage to the Queen. And no, I am not talking about the overdone, self indulging divas Aretha, Diana or Patti. I am talking about the Queen of Rock and Roll, Tina Turner.

At 53 I want to be Tina at 69. I want to have great legs, dance in stilettos and absolutely freakin' rock. Of course it would help if I had talent, but that aside, I like her attitude and her drive. When this sister gets on stage she performs non stop. And yeah she has some techno stuff going on but it's transitional, you know like the Golden Eye entrance, it doesn't dominate her show. Bottom line, it is her bangin' band, her three dancer/back up singers and Tina; they rock and they have a good time doing it. They are not over choreographed, they are not backed up by an army of dancers, there is no political agenda, or religious controversy, there is nothing that makes you cover your kids eyes or makes you feel uncomfortable. It is a mean band and Tina. Her voice is as rich and as soulful today as it was in 1971 when she first cut Proud Mary. I remember watching her on TV back then, and even then she crushed the Motown model. She was no Diana Ross and the Supremes, trust me this was a good thing 'cause this sister was raw. She strutted, danced and was something to see. For me she was right there with Janis [Joplin] and Jimi [Hendrix].

Most people don't realize that for six years following her divorce from Ike, Tina struggled. She played small clubs and had a series of bombs. This is a woman who could have been broken. Broken by an abusive husband, a failing career, being broke. She was someone cleaning the homes of friends to repay them for a place to sleep and their kindness. During all this she didn't shave her head, wreck cars, drink, take drugs or steal some one's husband. She knew Change Was Gonna Come, so she dug deep, re-laid her foundation and built what has become an amazing career. This is the resolve that I admire. She remains flexible, willing to try new styles and step outside her box. She worked with change while managing to remain true to herself. This is why she blossomed and now, is Simply The Best. The young artist today need to take a page from her book, forget the page, they need to read the whole thing and take the lessons and apply them. There is so much to learn and understand. Things like class and savvy.

The other night I watched her Amsterdam tour. I was absolutely inspired and motivated by her energy and genuineness - she enjoys what she does and looks good doing it. I immediately added to my bucket list - "See Tina Turner Live - preferably in Europe." Preferably Europe because it is like a Foreign Affair; they seem to appreciate her more than any other audiences that I have seen.


So 69, done Tina's way, is the new hot! I Can't wait to get there.

White Socks and I don't mean baseball...

There is a reason God made white socks. Do you have children and, are they at the age where they wear socks. You know socks with shoes, socks with sneakers, socks as slippers. We all know the story of the socks that escape somewhere between the hamper and the washer or, the washer and the dryer. As a result you end up with all these single socks. Well when you have three girls this can be a lot of socks. I had more unmatched sock drawers than anything else (except towels of course). So first I just made them find two that were close to the same style and both colors had to be in their outfit so although they were mismatched it seemed intentional. And let me tell you this was well before Punky Brewster. Then one day the store had those huge bags of white socks on sale and I bought one bag per girl. They were all the same style and yes the same color. PROBLEM SOLVED. I no longer had to contend with the one of every color or style sock left over. They wore uniform standard issue white socks. I still buy socks like this my gym socks, golf socks and trouser socks. That way as long as I have two I know I have a pair.

The Towel Story

Why do I have so many towels? At one point I counted almost 40 towels all clean at once and stashed in my hall chest, guest room drawers and bathrooms. This was before they became easy pickin's by my husband for car towels and for my daughter to stock her closet the first and second time she moved. It also does not take into account the towels that went to the pool and never returned. I always have about 20 on hand. I continue to buy towels. I always have to have towels. Some are plush, some are kind of thin most are brown, beige, tan or green. Why? well those colors work in both bathrooms, but I digress. Sometimes obsessions in your life are brought about by one single event. Maybe yours is tuna fish that you keep under the bed or hair brushes,hmmm. This is how I developed mine with towels.

Many years ago when it was just me and my oldest daughter who is now in her mid 30's (two reasons to give her age, one it really was a really long time ago and 2 it freaks my daughter out to see it written that she is in her mid 30's...) anyway, a friend of mine from work talked me into having a "surprise" demonstration. The plan was that I invite the folks and she would bring the party- the food, demonstrator, etc., seemed easy enough and I got a meal out of the deal. I figured it was crystal or Tupperware, both were big at the time. Turns out it was a Mary Kay make up demonstration. Well girlfriend may have brought the party but she didn't bring the linens. I literally owned 4 towels and 4 washcloths and all were used or in use. I did not have a washer and dryer. It was between pays, I was living paycheck to paycheck and at this point in the week about 2 days before payday the napkins and paper towels were gone.

So, as the demonstrator gave these great facials and folks were washing their faces, I nicely handed them Scott toilet paper to dry off. I can't think of a time when I was more embarrassed...oh yeah, I can it has to do with gym class, jump rope and my menses...another story another day. So anyway, I was mortified but at least I had toilet paper and I swore that day on that Scott single ply roll of toilet paper that this would never happen to me again. So with my next check following that demonstration I started buying towels. Now I buy towels and wash cloths often. And there are always clean ones somewhere in my house even if they are still in the dryer or on the table waiting to be folded. If you ever just show up if I can't give you a meal I can certainly offer a clean towel.

Crazy I know but, that is why I have so many towels.

Rundevous

I check my drawer for what to wear. It doesn't have to be special - just tight.
I prepare....It has got to be right.
Then,
I begin to think this thing through...
I love the way the first beads of sweat feel running from my temple,
the dampness at the small of my back.
Ohhhh yeah....that is where it is at...
I like it like this.

I try to anticipate every bump and curve to feel my way lightly
even though it is hard.

The music playing
catch the rhythm,
sometimes hard,
always pulsing.

Then I begin to realize it is about to end
about to be done.
I am both exhilarated and exhausted
at the end of my run.

ha ha.... peace out.

Young Folk

Barack Obama can be credited with many things, but I believe one of the richest changes he brought about was reviving the voice of the young people.

Somewhere along the line young people started losing their identity and "they" started labeling them Generation X, Y or Z. I don't know who "they" are but they are responsible for proliferating the opinion that young people are only about themselves, instant gratification and all that stuff and that for some reason their opinions didn't count as much as older more experienced folk. Now, young people are about themselves and, do believe in instant gratification but that is a discussion for another day.

Young people have always had strong opinions, when we were younger we had strong opinions and were quite self- centered - hello, remember the 70's when we were all finding ourselves? And, we are leading the way today... Barack comes from this era.

All this to say...
I listen to these young people speak.
They are intense, many seem wise way beyond their years.
They have verbalized and vocalized their dreams and their fears.
They have seen so much at such a young age,
and they don't hesitate to put it to phrase.
You think as a result we would be enlightened; have our dim world brightened.
Instead we still sell them short asking, what do they know - they're just kids.
The reality is these young people are folks with a view and not just a few.

It would be right to give them respect.
Allowing them, encouraging them to reflect.
We should continue to let them flow.
If, for nothing else to keep us (the older folk) in the know.

Peace Out.

Pet Peeves...

Pet peeves are defined as "minor annoyances" that are very frustrating for some while not phasing others at all. Pet peeves can be a cause of great frustration. When looking up pet peeve you will find that in order to qualify there are three criteria that must be met. It must be (1)insignificant, (2)happens to everyone around you but (3)only you are annoyed by it. These are little things that occur everyday that on the wrong day could just put someone like me over the edge.



Here are my top four.
(1) I'll start with one of my favorites. The coffee fixin' bar. Everyday I buy coffee from the same place. I see the same people and experience the same pet peeve. That is folks that stand in front of the cream and sweetener and fix their coffee and then taste it usually two or three times until it is just right. Now understand, it is the same coffee blend and same size cup every day. Why don't the 8 sugar packets and half cup of cream taste the same on Tuesday as it did on Monday. But noooo, they start with 4 packs of sugar and some cream... stir, stir, taste...smack the lips a little bit. 2 more packets of sugar and more cream...stir,stir, taste...smack the lips a little more and then 2 more packets of sugar while topping the cup off with cream...stir, stir, taste -- ahhh just right. Fiddle with the lid, spill some coffee while doing so (don't wipe it up) and walks away. The fixin' station has been blocked the whole time. I want to yell at her LADY if you get the same thing every day you should know by now you take 8 packets of sugar and half a cup of cream. I could fix your coffee for you and get it just right without the stir, stir, taste!



(2) Then there is the smokin' hand. This is the hand of the smoker that hangs out the car window. Why? Because they don't want their own smoke blowing in their face as they drive or sit at the light. So they hang the smokin' hand out the window so the cigarette smoke will blow into my car and my face. If you want to smoke, smoke. Roll up your windows and puff all that smoke in your car. Thanks but no thanks I don't want to share your cigarette.



(3) Litterbugs. I hate litterbugs. Why do you have to drop your trash in front of my house or better yet throw it out your car in my neighborhood. I live on a walk route that intersects with a school and a bus stop. I come out of my house in the morning and know what the kids have had for breakfast from yogurt cups to potato chips. I am one of the people that puts stuff in my pocket or handbag until I get to a trash can. I don't throw it on the street. When I do see people drop trash I say excuse me, you dropped something... the trash can is right there, next to you, on the left...sometimes they pick it and sometimes I pick it up. This is a true story: One day my sister and I were picking up breakfast from a little restaurant in my neighborhood when the passenger door of a car stopped at the light opened and a young lady sat a box of trash in the street. The car had out of state tags. I blew my horn and yelled "hey don't leave that there". They flipped me the bird and drove off. I grabbed my sister into my car, picked up the box and chased them. Yes, that is a little crazy but I was mad. The whole time my sister is saying you are going to get us killed. I told her I just wanted to give them their trash which happened to be old food containers, with half eaten food in them. Three lights later I finally caught them stopped at a light and they were blocked by traffic. I jumped out my car and banged on the window which girlfriend started to put down while boyfriend was yelling don't put the window down. They wouldn't take their trash so I sat it on the top of their car. Of course they knocked it off and left it in the street and I ended up picking it up but I think they got the message. Don't Litter or crazy people will chase you down and give it back!

(4) Respect the circle of personal space. My final pet peeve, individuals that invade my personal space. Those strangers that always seem to stand too close - in the food store, at the ATM, the department store, the movie line. GIVE ME MY SPACE - RESPECT THE CIRCLE. It is not necessary to stand so close as we wait to board the airplane that I can feel your breath on my neck - we have assigned seats!! Standing really close does not make me move faster. Putting your food on the checkout belt before me even though I am standing in front of you doesn't mean you will check out before me. JUST CHILL. This space extends to my car and those individuals that tailgate - you're invading the circle. Driving really close when I am doing 65 does not intimidate me. Back off Bucko and when the opportunity presents itself speed around me.
Just give me my space. Everyone is entitled to their circle.

So to sum it all up, if you have a process for fixing your coffee stand off to the side, if you smoke when you drive keep the smokin' hand inside your car, don't litter and respect a persons personal circle of space.

Don't Let Your Job Define You

Don't let your job define who you are and don't let it become your life.


Why is it when you meet someone for the first time or, you run into someone you haven't seen for some time, the conversation always gets to that all important question "So, what do you do [now]. These five sometimes 6 little words become that moment of judgement. All of a sudden your self-worth and self-esteem hang in the balance. Will what you do label you as a success or a failure. Will what you do validate what folks always thought about you. You know like when the neighbors would say "you know that Jones boy will never amount to much; he's slow isn't he" or, "that Miller girl is so bright you know she will go far".


As you shift from side to side you start to weigh the response options unless of course, you are ridiculously successful. You start to ask yourself how often do I see this person anyway, who are our mutual acquaintances. Do I see these people on a regular or semi-regular basis. Hell, I am doing okay but what are they doing. People only really ask that question when they want to brag about themselves. Do I measure up and who's doing the darn measuring anyway. And if I don't measure up to whatever the standard is, do I care. Now you know this is all split second thinking going on here. Kind of like your life passing in front of your eyes type of thing. Do I embellish or remain sufficiently vague? What were those words I used on my last resume when I decided to return to the workforce from stay at home mom - successful budget manager, event planner, highly flexible and the ability to handle many tasks with demanding time lines. What the hell!

Why does it matter what I do. And, to come right out and say it bluntly why should you give a frickin' frac. My job or career, like my hair, does not define me. It doesn't sum me up nicely. It doesn't represent why I exist. Unless maybe I am a famous brain surgeon that removed a tumor from the most famous genius in the world or a research scientist on the brink of finding a cure for some world ravaging disease. But really, don't let your job or even the lack thereof define you because the reality is one day it may all change. Then what.

Too often our persona, the essence of who we are and how we describe ourselves is tied to what we do for a living. And this role becomes so intertwined with our personal lives that it then somehow begins to define whether we view ourselves as a success or failure. As a result your true self is lost. And when in a flash it is all gone due to retirement or the economy down turn, or some other planned or unplanned event, you are left with a shattered identity and the additional task of getting to know who you really are.

Don't let your job or career define you.

It is not a good feeling when you wake up one day and have no place to go, no one to reach out to and you don't recognize the person in the mirror. Don't allow yourself to be in a position that when stripped of your company id you can't id yourself.

Grow, be successful, keep your sense of drive but most importantly keep your sense of self. The next time someone asks the question "what do you do" tell them "I take nothing for granted. I live each day to the fullest. I love my family, and I look forward to tomorrow; that is what I do".

Don't let your job define you!

When Did "You're Welcome" Become "Uh Huh"

When was the last time you said "thank you" to someone for a common courtesy. And when was the last time you said "thank you" and the person you are thanking actually responded with "you're welcome"; most times you get "uh huh". You probably even say "uh huh" yourself. Is it passe to be courteous and exhibit manners? Then I started to think, maybe folks don't know the appropriate responses. The response to thank you is you're welcome. The response to excuse me is certainly. But you know, it is not just the expressions it is the actions. Have you ever held the door for someone being courteous and they don't even acknowledge you, let alone thank you. Pisses me off but doesn't stop me from holding the next door. How about when you are standing in the food store aisle and instead of the person you are blocking saying "excuse me" so they can pass, they try mental telepathy... "if i stare at her back long enough maybe she will move". Courteous actions take so little effort and have such huge returns. Courtesies when extended and acknowledged become contagious. Here is a basic rule, if you invade someone's personal space - to squeeze by, reach for something, or accidentally bump them with that huge satchell you call a purse - say excuse me. It is just a common courtesy.

The other day a woman in the 7 eleven reaching across my husband knocked a hot cup of coffee over which spilled on him burning his hand and foot. She did not say excuse me, sorry, or jack. She just kept on fixing her coffee. He, better than I, just walked away.

How about the person you are standing behind in the elevator with the tag hanging out their neckline. Do you just stare at it or, do you say say "excuse me I am going to fix this for you". Believe me when you are walking around thinking you really look good you don't want the tag hanging out your shirt. I appreciate the person that fixes the tag, or tells me my zipper is partially down.

Then there is the good ole skirt in the pantyhose... yes I have started out of the ladies room "tucked in" but remembered to make the last sweep before opening the door and yes, I was tucked. Think the two ladies standing at the sink brought it to my attention, guess the story would have been funnier when they told it if I actually walked into the hallway.

One day I was in one of those large discount shoe stores and I noticed this guy walking behind me. Was this a stalker? Finally he said turn around and look in the mirror and when I did there down the back of my leg - size 10, size 10, size 10... How embarassing but yes better size 10 than 12. But, it would have been more embarassing to walk around ALL DAY like that.

Of course there is the food in the teeth, booger hanging out the nose or in the mustache, and the lipstick on the teeth. If Barack can tell Michelle she has lipstick on her teeth on national tv, you can tell your co-worker. Just let a sister or brother know. Believe me the one moment of embarrassment is far better than looking in the mirror after a presentation and seeing the piece of lettuce. Then it is like "was that there the whole time?"

My all time favorite, a partial courtesy - "Have a good one"... A good what? A good day, a good moment, a good ride on the elevator??? Why can't you say "Have a good day", what is the big deal. And, when someone says have a good day or good morning what is with the grunt. Yes, a grunt. Good morning is met with another uh huh or um hum, what is that? Just say good morning back it will make you feel better. And finally, what is with those folks walking down the hall that put their heads down or look at the wall to avoid eye contact. I still speak, loudly. Why is it a chore to be pleasant.

So, I challenge you to a day of common courtesies. Say you're welcome in response to thank you. Say please when asking for something. Say "have a good day" and "good morning" to everyone. Smile at people, hold a door or let a another driver get in front of you and, when someone let's you go wave and say thanks.

I say thank you to the cabbie that stops to pick me up. I say thank you to the waiter or waitress that takes my plate or fills my water glass. I say thank you to the cashier when they give me my change. I say thank you, please, you're welcome and good morning. It makes me feel better and I believe folks genuinely appreciate it.

Try your day of common courtesy and let me know how it goes.

Never To Late To Say Thank You

I often wonder if my father and mother are looking down on me and my siblings and, if so are they proud of what they see. We were all so different - young and inexperienced when they both passed away. Mommy in December 1977 and daddy in April 1980. I remember thinking when they died what the hell am I going to do. If I was troubled I called my parents. If I was happy, confused, bored or just wanted to shoot the breeze - I called my parents. If I needed something, anything - dollars, sympathy, empathy a baby sitter I called daddy first and then mommy. And while I believe I always said thank you I am not really sure. But, I can say it now.

Mommy and daddy thank you for raising me right; for being the "mean" mom and dad which was really just being strict. Thank you for caring enough to make the hard decisions and sometimes taking the weight off of me. Thank you for standing by me when I did stupid things like dropping out of college, getting pregnant and marrying someone you absolutely could not stand. Thank you for not trying to be my best friend but instead a good parent and thank you for telling me to always stand up straight and walk with my head held up; to stand up for myself and for others not quite as strong.

I have tried to apply everything I learned from you as I raised my own children. So, I thank you as your child and, I thank you as a parent.

Thank you.