Okay, so yesterday while driving in my car I listened to a radio show where the topic of conversation was "if you are not serious in your relationship don't play house". Playing house was defined as allowing your "friend" to stay overnight, leave personal items such as a toothbrush, use your bathroom to shower in the morning etc. It is also defined as allowing the woman to cook in your kitchen and tidy up your home. I was really perplexed by the whole conversation. I couldn't grasp if they were encouraging quickies, one night stands,celibacy or only having sex in a committed relationship.
It seemed like there were only two options with each being at opposite ends of the spectrum the first being sexual encounters should be quick transactions with immediate departure after the act. The second option being the only time a partner should spend the night is if you are in a committed relationship. Now I am not single and can't ever remember being single but I know what sounds right and what sounds just plain crazy. This whole conversation was crazy with a captial c.
There seemed to be a belief by the men moderating the conversation that women get great pleasure from cooking in a man's kitchen and picking up his dirty socks and underwear. And, if men allow women to do this it creates great hope and sets expectations regarding the future of the relationship.
There was also the mindset that you (men), are either serious about your relationship or using her if you allow her to play maid by cooking and cleaning for you. I thought that was the biggest crock because we all know most men will let a woman do almost anything for him if it is going to make his life easier. I have many thoughts on this so many so that I don't know where to begin... First of all I don't think I know one woman that gets a charge out of cooking and cleaning for anyone. Maybe she figures if she is going to be spending time in his place she is going to straighten up to feel comfortable which sucks because if he doesn't think enough of you or himself to clean up his own place when he knows you are coming over warnings should be going off in your head "danger Mrs Robinson; danger Mrs Robinson" and warning flags should be going up all over the place... pig...selfish...inconsiderate just to name a few...
I sure as hell don't know one woman that thinks by cleaning up after a grown man she is sealing some deal for a future with some guy. Why do some men think that women are always looking for the long term relationship. Maybe just maybe women are seeking friends with benefits and in return maybe she'll cook a meal - hell she has to eat too.
Here's the wake up call brothers, women work just as hard as you do. And, women would like to come home to a house or apartment that someone has tidied up with dinner cooking in the kitchen. But what does all this mean in a relationship? First and foremost there should be open and honest communication - are you exclusive or not. If not, ladies take your cue from there, if you're just an option don't make him a priority. If you straighten up at his place does he return the favor at yours? Does he cook for you as often as you cook for him... Do you cook together?
On the other hand there are some folks that have had long standing open relationships, they have keys to each other's homes, sometimes they spend the night. They share a strong friendship and mutual respect for each other but they are not looking for marriage; it works for them. They like having their own space.
Guys sometimes a sister just wants a warm body next to hers. Doesn't mean she wants to marry you or even have a long term relationship... so, get over yourselves. Please.
So, I still don't know where this goes but I will use my moms old sayings with my own little twist...... why buy the cow if the milk is free assuming you were looking to purchase to begin with...
So if you plan to stay a minute just remember to put everything back in your bootie bag, leave before sunrise, don't plan to take a shower and never ever exchange keys.
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