All Bad Experiences Aren't Because We're Black.... Just Sayin'

So the other day as I was scrolling through Facebook I came across a post which highlighted an article by Denene Millner entitled "Birthing While Black: An Experience I'll Never Forget"1 which peaked my curiosity.  The article was interesting and detailed the author's bad experience from her labor through delivery and even her inpatient post delivery experience. The article chronicled her ill treatment by the nurses and medical staff, the drug testing of her newborn, and the failure to honor her private room  and dinner accommodations.  And, based on the title and the treatment she described this all occurred because she is black.

Ok, so what I am about to write  is not going to be a popular thought but, what if the treatment was not due to the color of her skin but her attitude and how she treated folks.

I had three babies two in the seventies and one in the eighties.  When I had my first baby I had to go through the clinic.  I was employed but had no health insurance. The clinic was for "poor people", it was in a white suburban hospital. It was some of the best care I ever received.  I had toxemia and  my baby was born 2 months premature.  I was in the hospital for about a week and my baby two months.  The nurses were great as were the doctors.  Here I was a 19 year old black girl having this baby and I don't remember anything but kindness and compassion from my mostly white caregivers.   I had the same experience with the delivery of my second and third; by this time I was gainfully employed and had wonderful health insurance which afforded me a private practice and upgraded accommodations.  With my third I was even afforded a private room which my husband was allowed to stay in and we had a private dinner the night before I was discharged. 

Later I had the complete joy of actively participating in the births of all 5 of my grand-children.  They were born in private, community and city hospitals.  The caregivers were black and white. With the exception of one doctor who started out a bit rude and later came around, all of the interactions were good and all of the experiences memorable...in a good way.  Most recently I actively participated in the birth of my first great grand baby.  My grand-daughter is currently on Medicaid as her employer does not offer insurance (so looking forward to Health Care Reform effective this October 2013) so, she went through the Medicaid Clinic.  The treatment in the clinic was not great.  They treated her poorly, they were rude and condescending and when I attended her visits with her they treated me the same way. They were black as are we. The hospital experience however was very different.  The nursing staff, the anesthesiologist, the delivery doctor and the pediatrician were great.  They came from every race - Black, White, Indian and Hispanic.  They were responsive, they were professional and they treated my grand-daughter with respect.  I was very observant during her 20 hours of labor and this is what I noticed.  My grand-daughter engaged the staff, she was respectful when speaking with them. She said please and thank you and even apologized when she thought she was calling too often.  When one young nurse came in to check her and asked her how she was feeling and was taking her vitals my grand-daughter looked at her and asked "how are you feeling... you have been here as long as I have".  The nurse looked at her with surprise and responded "I am good and, thank you for asking".   The same was true when she was taken to her room, which was not private.  She asked the staff their names and addressed them by name. Again she engaged with the staff, thanked them when they responded to her questions and when they offered assistance.  The staff loved her... they told me every time I met one in the room or hallway that she was a great patient. They loaded her with all kinds of things from heating packets to extra formula for the baby. When she was discharged she went to the nurses station and thanked them.  You see this was the way she was raised.  We have a strong respect for caregivers as we have many in our family.

Oh one more thing, she delivered in a city hospital and her insurance was listed as Medicaid she is twenty years old and black, they did not test her baby for drugs.

So all of this to say.  Maybe the treatment the author of the referenced article received was not due to the color of her skin.  Maybe it had to do with how she interacted with the staff.  Maybe her approach with  the staff was as if they were there to wait on her and serve her instead of providing medical care.  Maybe she didn't say thank you or please.  As small as these things seem when you treat people poorly you sometimes get the same in return.

I feel bad that she had a bad experience  when the birth of her baby should have been one of the happiest days of her life.  But we can't always assume that we are treated badly because of the color of our skin. Maybe sometimes our behavior has something to do with it.

Just sayin'...


1. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/denene-millner/african-american-birth-story-hospital_b_1231247.html

What If...

This blog is a "what if" scenario of the Trayvon Martin shooting.

Background: Trayvon Martin was a 17 year old teenager that was walking home from a store after taking a break from watching the NBA All Star game. He was staying with his father and future step mother who live in gated middle class community in Sanford Florida. On his way home from the store on his cell phone and carrying an iced tea and a bag of skittles he encountered a "self-proclaimed" town watch person. We do not know exactly what happened with the encounter except that the 17 year old armed only with a bottle of iced tea and skittles was involved in an altercation with the town watch person who was armed with a 9mm semi automatic. At the end of the altercation Trayvon lay dead face down on the ground with the town watch person standing over him. After onlookers roused from their homes by the sound of someone "whining" and then a single gun shot called out to the town watch person several times asking what was going on he calmly said "call 911". When the police arrived Trayvon Martin was bagged and tagged along with his personal effects (including his phone) and sent to the morgue where he was tested for drugs, alcohol and left unidentified for 3 days. Left unidentified for three days while his active cell phone carried numerous phone numbers of friends and relatives. where the last phone number and time of call coincided with the time of the encounter. And yet, with all their investigative prowess no one looked in the phone and attempted to identify this 17 year old male who, they now know, had no drugs or alcohol in his system and, had no finger prints "in the system" meaning he had No Record of arrest or encounters with a law enforcement agency. Rewind...
Back to that night... when the police arrive on the scene the town watch person claims that he was attacked. Claims that he shot this kid in self defense. That he had no alternative but to shoot this 17 year old kid armed with a bottle of iced tea, a bag of skittles and a cell phone. Had no alternative but to shoot this kid that weighed about 130 pounds even though he is a seemingly well conditioned 28 year old out weighing Trayvon Martin by 100 pounds easy. Had no alternative but to use deadly force, couldn't pin the kid to the ground, couldn't even knock him out. Was so afraid for his life, so afraid of this 130 pound 17 year old armed with a bottle of iced tea, skittles and cell phone that he had no alternative but to shoot this kid point blank with one of the deadliest hand guns an individual can carry. The town watch person who has not been seen, photographed, arrested or fully interrogated by the police said that he was injured that he suffered a broken nose and head injury as a result of his head "being banged against the sidewalk several times". No paramedics where called. No pictures of the town watch person were taken. There is no emergency room visit. There is no documentation of these injuries other than the town watch person's personal account. So we don't see him with the usual blackened eyes that follow a serious nose break. There is no MRI ensuring that after having his "head banged against the sidewalk several times" that there is no subdural hematoma, no slow bleed, no brain injury. How would the police substantiate the claims if needed when there is no documentation of the injuries.

The town watch person, George Zimmerman, is allowed to go home, afterall he didn't have a police record. Once in hiding he shares with his friends that he "cried for several days" over this incident.

Trayvon Martin is dead. His parents are crying.

Trayvon Martin is black. The town watch person, George Zimmerman, is white.

So

WHAT IF....

What if when Trayvon Martin was walking home from the store with his bottle of iced tea and skittles while talking on the phone the same encounter occurred but, what if once the altercation ensued Trayvon wrestled the town watch person's 9mm semi automatic away and, in the subsequent scuffle the gun discharged striking George Zimmerman in the chest killing him on the spot. What if when this occurred folks roused from their home by the ruckus run and hear a young black boy say calmly call 911 as he straddles the fallen town watch person.
What would have happened when the police arrive and still in shock Trayvon has the gun in his hand. Do you think he would have even had the chance to explain what happened. After all, you would have a 17 year black kid standing over a dead white man; one hand to his head the other still gripping the gun, and, he is not even aware he even had the gun and, that it is still in hand... in his confusion... police yelling "drop the gun! drop the gun!" bright lights shining he raises his hands above his head (gun still in hand) there is hail of gunfire.

Headline - Black youth killed by Police in shoot out after murdering town watch captain.

What if...

What if when the altercation ensued Trayvon and the town watch person fought with both of them gripping the 9mm; it discharges and George Zimmerman lays dead. Trayvon bleeding and bruised sits on the curb head in hands sobbing, neighbors roused by the ruckus race to the scene and call 911. The police arrive Trayvon is pushed to the ground handcuffed... he is explaining he is staying in the community, he was walking from the store, the guy just jumped him, he fought he doesn't know where the gun came from he was fighting for his life he was defending his life (he was standing his ground). Handcuffed he is slammed around and then thrown in the back of the police care whisked down town, his parent is called he is interrogated for hours and charged with murder with bail set at $1million cash. The white community is outraged... there is a run on gun sales.... candidates politicize the situation... it is Obama's fault....

Headline - Black youth murders town watch captain in cold blood; town watch captain was pursuing burglary suspect at time.

What if...


What if when the town watch person spotted Trayvon he did his town watch duty and called 911 and stayed in his car or at his post as advised by the 911 dispatcher.

What if George Zimmerman didn't desire so badly to be a peace officer that he carried a concealed deadly weapon and, that he allowed those trained to do that job handle the situation.

What if George Zimmerman, who according to his black friend isn't capable of racism, exercised good judgment that night instead of vigilante-ism.

What if Trayvon was white.

Trayvon would still be alive.

Say it loud....

Have we diluted our kid's understanding of their heritage to the point that they no longer know their black or, more specifically, they no longer like being black? Is being black not mystical enough. Why if you have hair that is not kinky or, you have eyes that are a color other than brown, if your nose is straight and narrow or your eyes have a little upward slant the first thing people ask you is "what are you "mixed" with"? Why can't we just be black. What is the novelty of being "mixed", is it because our president is "mixed". If your momma's black, you're black. If your papa's black you're black. What happened to our battle cry of the 60's and the 70's, say it loud, I'm black and I'm proud. We had finally gotten over trying to connect with that great great grandmother that was a quarter part Cherokee Indian and claimed our black heritage.
What do today's kids say.... Say it loud I'm mixed and I'm proud - more like I'm all mixed up. Remember when we all wanted to be Nubian Queens, we wore the little gold charm around our necks. And, we all bought that high back wicker chair that sat in front of our black light posters. We wore our hair natural, no weaves just our natural hair. We tried our darnedest to connect with our roots... yeah remember Roots with Kizzie and Kunta Kinte.We couldn't get enough of being black. And then, somewhere along the way we swerved. Our girls started up talking - like ya know OMG, Valley Girls... boys started skateboarding and everyone became - dude. And somehow our kids started identifying more with genX instead of being black.
At this point in time when we have seen something that some of us never thought we would see in our lifetime, a black president, nobody wants to be black, or at least 100% black.
Well try this, take a pallet of water colors and mix all the colors together, know what you end up with.... black.

So guess what ya'll, no matter what you want to be, bottom line is ... you're black. So.... say it loud
I AM BLACK AND I AM PROUD.

Embrace your race, touch your roots, and like what you are....

Peace,
One Proud Black Sister...

Don't Play the (Bi) Racial Card...

On January 20th when Barak Obama was sworn in as the 44th president of the United States of America it was a major milestone in our history as a country and, as a people. One hundred and forty four years ago the 13th Amendment was made to the Constitution of the United States. The highest law of the land outlawed slavery and involuntary servitude. Five years later the 15th Amendment was made to Constitution, giving the right to vote to "all citizens of the United States regardless of race, color or previous condition of servitude". However it was only 45 years ago in 1964 when the twenty-fourth Amendment to the Constitution was passed. Amendment XXIV Section 1 states:

"The right of citizens of the United States to vote in any primary or other
election for President or Vice President for electors for President or Vice
President, or for Senator or Representative in Congress, shall not be denied or
abridged by the United States or any State by reason of failure to pay any poll
tax or other tax."

And, less than 50 years ago there were cases still being heard by the Supreme Court Justices of the United States that would determine that it is unconstitutional to deny service, accommodations, education, medical care and basic human rights based on ones race, creed or color.



So, on January 20th, 2009, 144 years after slavery, the genesis of the black holocaust was outlawed, a black man was sworn in as the President of the United States of America. I repeat a black man.



Do you remember when it was the law of the land that stipulated if you had one drop of black blood in you, you were black. And this one drop was sufficient to shackle you, rape you, sell you, kill your children, hang you if you looked at a white woman, hang you because they [white people] were bored. It was sufficient to deny you the basic human rights granted to you by GOD and the Constitution, it was sufficient to place you in a position that was less than a "full" human and just above animal. One drop of black blood was sufficient to deny you an education, make you sit in the back of the bus, have your churches burned and your land taken.



When I refer to President Obama as the first black president there are those that quickly correct me and say, "actually he's bi-racial, his mother was white and his father black". That may be true however, 50 years ago if he lived in the south and attempted to vote he would have been told "boy get your black ass outta here, you know niggers can't vote". In the year 2000 it would have been sufficient in Texas to get him chained to the back of a pick up and dragged until he was physically ripped apart.



So, don't play the bi-racial card now. Tiger tried it, no one cared, they still call him black.

At the end of the day the bottom line is the United States has our first African (can't deny that) American president, a black man named Barak Obama.