Friday, August 2, 2013

All Bad Experiences Aren't Because We're Black.... Just Sayin'

So the other day as I was scrolling through Facebook I came across a post which highlighted an article by Denene Millner entitled "Birthing While Black: An Experience I'll Never Forget"1 which peaked my curiosity.  The article was interesting and detailed the author's bad experience from her labor through delivery and even her inpatient post delivery experience. The article chronicled her ill treatment by the nurses and medical staff, the drug testing of her newborn, and the failure to honor her private room  and dinner accommodations.  And, based on the title and the treatment she described this all occurred because she is black.

Ok, so what I am about to write  is not going to be a popular thought but, what if the treatment was not due to the color of her skin but her attitude and how she treated folks.

I had three babies two in the seventies and one in the eighties.  When I had my first baby I had to go through the clinic.  I was employed but had no health insurance. The clinic was for "poor people", it was in a white suburban hospital. It was some of the best care I ever received.  I had toxemia and  my baby was born 2 months premature.  I was in the hospital for about a week and my baby two months.  The nurses were great as were the doctors.  Here I was a 19 year old black girl having this baby and I don't remember anything but kindness and compassion from my mostly white caregivers.   I had the same experience with the delivery of my second and third; by this time I was gainfully employed and had wonderful health insurance which afforded me a private practice and upgraded accommodations.  With my third I was even afforded a private room which my husband was allowed to stay in and we had a private dinner the night before I was discharged. 

Later I had the complete joy of actively participating in the births of all 5 of my grand-children.  They were born in private, community and city hospitals.  The caregivers were black and white. With the exception of one doctor who started out a bit rude and later came around, all of the interactions were good and all of the experiences memorable...in a good way.  Most recently I actively participated in the birth of my first great grand baby.  My grand-daughter is currently on Medicaid as her employer does not offer insurance (so looking forward to Health Care Reform effective this October 2013) so, she went through the Medicaid Clinic.  The treatment in the clinic was not great.  They treated her poorly, they were rude and condescending and when I attended her visits with her they treated me the same way. They were black as are we. The hospital experience however was very different.  The nursing staff, the anesthesiologist, the delivery doctor and the pediatrician were great.  They came from every race - Black, White, Indian and Hispanic.  They were responsive, they were professional and they treated my grand-daughter with respect.  I was very observant during her 20 hours of labor and this is what I noticed.  My grand-daughter engaged the staff, she was respectful when speaking with them. She said please and thank you and even apologized when she thought she was calling too often.  When one young nurse came in to check her and asked her how she was feeling and was taking her vitals my grand-daughter looked at her and asked "how are you feeling... you have been here as long as I have".  The nurse looked at her with surprise and responded "I am good and, thank you for asking".   The same was true when she was taken to her room, which was not private.  She asked the staff their names and addressed them by name. Again she engaged with the staff, thanked them when they responded to her questions and when they offered assistance.  The staff loved her... they told me every time I met one in the room or hallway that she was a great patient. They loaded her with all kinds of things from heating packets to extra formula for the baby. When she was discharged she went to the nurses station and thanked them.  You see this was the way she was raised.  We have a strong respect for caregivers as we have many in our family.

Oh one more thing, she delivered in a city hospital and her insurance was listed as Medicaid she is twenty years old and black, they did not test her baby for drugs.

So all of this to say.  Maybe the treatment the author of the referenced article received was not due to the color of her skin.  Maybe it had to do with how she interacted with the staff.  Maybe her approach with  the staff was as if they were there to wait on her and serve her instead of providing medical care.  Maybe she didn't say thank you or please.  As small as these things seem when you treat people poorly you sometimes get the same in return.

I feel bad that she had a bad experience  when the birth of her baby should have been one of the happiest days of her life.  But we can't always assume that we are treated badly because of the color of our skin. Maybe sometimes our behavior has something to do with it.

Just sayin'...


1. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/denene-millner/african-american-birth-story-hospital_b_1231247.html

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