A Bullet to the Back

Another young son dead
a bullet to his back
another to his head

He was not a stranger
He was one we knew
grew up with my children
they loved him true

Was it wrong place at the wrong time
Too much weed
Too much wine

Was it a good time
gone bad
that has left another
community sad

Does it matter
how it happened
the real question
is why

Why are we a city of cowards
settling every score with a gun

Why are we so weak
and not saying
enough is enough
this thing is done

Another young father dead
He was a good dad
that is what everyone said

We would rather remember him with a T shirt

R I P my friend

instead of ending this nonsense before

another uncle or cousin is dead

He was a pillar in the community

is what i read

another young black leader

dead

We gather in circles and pray

light candles

sing and sway

But yet this brings no one back

and prevents not anther

from winding up dead

STOP the violence, it's what the crowd said

but yet they protect and hide those that cause death

steal the life

leave children without their dad

taking the husband from

a loving wife

What is this sickness eating  us

from the inside out

this deep seated fear of

accountability

and doing what is right

Turn around people

see the light

what is happening in our community

it aint right

It can be stopped

It must be stopped

because

I can't take another young man dead

a bullet to his back

another to his head

Dedicated to Michael "Butter" Walker

When

I always wanted to stand
and recite my poetry
but

I had no rhythm to my words
no tune to my voice

So, i kept my words
buried in my mind
denied
my third eye

I always wanted to speak some
rhyming words outloud
while folks sat in their seats and
snapped their fingers
finding deep meaning in shallow words

I always wanted to be intense
thoughtful
deep
dot dot ditty dot damn deep

I wanted to flow like Nikki or
to mix rythym with ryhme and
political insight
like Gil

but

i
am me
not really deep
and
I just found out that to be intense
I must find my
third eye

remove the cataract, the veil and clearly focus

on

what is there
where...
there....

So,
when i gain the courage
i'll stand and spit
i'll be down wit it
i'll be hip

maybe i'll even be deep

dot dot ditty dot damn deep....

Journey

This has been a journey
to this place
standing here
face to face

No more protections behind
executive clothes
or
memos

Bare. Naked. Standing here
to recite my words
This has been a journey , for me
to this place

Dropping the image of what
i should be
to show who i am
allowing my words to flow
saying, speaking what is on my mind;
in my mind

What i feel
What i think
taking a stand on my beliefs

No longer worrying about being
politically correct, willing to speak
the truth

This has been a journey
to this place
This has been a journey which
brings me here
to
me

There's No Fucking U in I

I will not tie up my self esteem and self worth in what you think of me.

I know I am a good person. I know that I am an attractive person. I know that I have a sense of humor. I know I am sensitive to the needs of others and I know sometimes I don’t care about their needs.

I know I am loyal. I know I am hardworking. I know how to put others first and I know how to take care of myself. I know how to say yes and I know how to say no. I know when to ask for help and I know how to offer help without being asked. I know I am committed to those things that are right. I know that I am generous. I know I am honest. I know when I am wrong and I know when I am right. I know how to take critical feedback and I know how to be tactful when giving feedback. I know I am smart and I know sometimes I can be downright goofy and simple.

I know I am ethical. I know I am versatile and I know at times I can be rigid. I know how to take control and I know how to let the reigns go. I know sometimes it is best to just back away and I know I don’t always do it when I should. I know I don’t like being controlled and I know sometimes it is inevitable. I know when I have been used and I know when and why I let it happen. I know how to listen and I know when listening is the only thing to do.

I know how to stand up for myself and I know when to stand down. I know I stand up for others sometimes when they don’t deserve it but I know it is the right thing to do.

I know all these things.

So I don’t need u to validate me, or tell me what I can or can’t do.

I know who I am and how to spell I.

There is no fucking u in I.

Taking Care of Our Own

I haven't seen the Blindside but I will and, I am sure I will enjoy it. It is a great (based on truth) story. I really like Sandra Bullock and everyone that has seen the movie has walked away feeling good.

But, yes this is the other foot falling, why do we always see movies about disadvantaged black youth being rescued by white families. Have you noticed? And now with the earthquake in Haiti every time I turn on the news I see these little Haitian children in the arms of white families that have adopted them. It raised for me the question, do black families rescue white children. Do black families rescue our own black youth. Do we adopt children from devastated countries. I found this very interesting blog giving a first hand account of a black family's experience as they went through the process of adopting a little white girl, http://www.thisisnow.org/2008/01/white-kid-black-family-transracial.html. It speaks directly to why you don't see these stories publicized.

Even though there has been a significant increase in "transracial adoption" the statistics clearly reflect a one-sided process. White families adopting non-white children is in the thousands while black families adopting non-black children is virtually non-existent. Maybe part of this is cultural; black folks don't feel the need to exercise their liberalism by adopting non-black children especially when their are so many little black children that need homes. However, make no mistake, a large part of it is racism. White women can have children of any race and it is never questioned; a black woman with a non-black child is automatically assumed to be the child's nanny or care-taker. And, white folks make no bones about their discomfort when they see a little white girl with a black man, ask Mark Riding who along with his wife adopted a little white girl. Mr Riding has been followed out the mall, been questioned directly as to why he is with her (his white daughter) and had the little girl questioned in front of his wife by concerned white folks directly asking "are you okay" (http://www.newsweek.com/id/194886).

"No country in the world has made more progress toward combating overt racism than [the United States]," says David Schneider, a Rice University psychologist and the author of "The Psychology of Stereotyping." "But the most popular stereotype of black people is still that they're violent. And for a lot of people, not even racist people, the sight of a white child with a black parent just sets off alarm signals."

It's not just white folks that have issues with blacks adopting non-black babies. Some of the harshest criticism comes from directly within the black community. When Dallas Cowboys All-Pro linebacker DeMarcus Ware and his wife, Taniqua adopted a non-black baby they were criticized for ignoring the need of children in their own community. Some went so far to tag the couple who had experienced several miscarriages as "self-race-hating" individuals. The Ware's baby is Hispanic. Racism on this issue is not reserved for white folks.

This brings me back to the second question,do black families adopt black children and, if not why not. Adoption is expensive; a public agency adoption will have a minimum of $1,500 in court cost an adopting family/individual should expect to spend no less than $10,000 going through the process. A lot of black folks just can't afford it. And then, reality sets in.

Black families have been rescuing our youth for decades. It takes the form of grandmothers taking in their grandchildren because their children aren't raising them. Aunts and uncles taking in the children of their sisters and brothers and, there are even "play aunts" taking in a friend's child all in an effort to provide a stable home. These assumptions of parental responsibility are not done through the adoption process. Of the 2 million black children in the United States living without a biological parent in the home 80% are in informal arrangements(www.NABSW.org). The black culture has always been to take care of our own and, it has always been for the most part an informal process.

So there are no movies, there are no breaking news stories at 6. This is our culture. It is what we do.

Parting Question: What effort is being made to find out if the children being shipped out of Haiti to adoptive families have families here who are willing to take them in....

What does this mean...

Genocide: The deliberate and systematic destruction of a racial, political or cultural group.

Recently on my way to class I picked up the Michael Baisden show on the radio. His topic of the day, "Why are there so many single black women?". The conversation made me so mad I wanted to spit. According to Mr. Baisden black women are single because they set their expectations too high, they aren't willing to submit and shelve their dreams and desires for a man and, they are too narrow in scope when considering potential husbands (translated they need to consider dating non black men).

After hearing this I came home and began reviewing the stats. I know black women who are single and would like to be in a committed relationship, be married and raise a family. I have three daughters one is married and two (between the ages of 27 and 32)are single. I have experienced their issues.

So, back to the stats. Black women outnumber black men 12 to 1. This is right out the box, no adjustments. Then deduct from the black male population 8% that are incarcerated, 17% that are unemployed and the 21% that do not have even a high school diploma. It makes for a bleak picture. The 12 to 1 ratio is more like 18 to 1 and, I will not even make an adjustment for the percentage of black men who do not even date black women (Tiger), let alone marry them. Accordingly,inter-racial marriage (black women to non black men) has doubled in the past 10 years. And looking at the above stats this number is likely to double yet again in the coming 10years.

What does this mean?
Currently 42% of black women in the United States have never been married. This is twice the number of white women in this country.

Again,I ask you, what does this mean?
It means that of women holding a bachelor's degree or greater 70% are single. It means the women that are well positioned financially, with strong educational backgrounds are,for the most part,going childless. While some are deciding to have a biological child on their own; some are adopting and many are choosing not to have children if they are not married.

Again, what does this mean.
It is very simple,if black women are not having black babies the black race will decline. Are we experiencing a deliberate and systematic destruction of the black family. Are we in the throes of genocide and we don't even recognize it?

Let's take the issue of being single off the black woman's back because she refuses to "settle" by lowering her expectation of a life mate. Let's peel back the skin on this onion and stop suggesting the problem with black women is that they are too narrow in their beliefs and need to stop whining and date other than black men if they really want to be married. Maybe we should start talking about partnership and stop talking about submission.

Maybe we need to find out what is going on with our black men and get them on the right path. Get the young black men through high school, get them into college, while keeping them out of jail.

Here is the definition of genocide: the deliberate and systematic destruction of a racial, political or cultural group. Understanding this definition we need to pay attention to what is going on here and view this as the societal issue that it is and recognize the long-term implications of having so many single black women in this country.

What do you think?

Happy New Year

Well how late in the year is it too late to say happy new year.... here we are almost 1 month into 2010 and this is my first blog of the year. My resolution is to write more consistently. So Happy New Year and buckle your seat belt cause i am gonna be a little raw, very candid and pushing the envelope in thought and prose. Happy Reading.