Almost a year has gone by since I last wrote... so much has happened, where do I begin. Well the beginning is always a decent spot. After finishing my volunteer stint with the United Way I literally prayed every night for an employment opportunity to come my way. Well folks, be careful what you pray for, especially when you pray in "general" terms. You may get exactly what you asked for - in general. My prayers were answered and I was offered a position with a small global insurer. It was an adventure, working with folks that did not want assistance or change and didn't want to pay for expertise but wanted to drain my brain. So, for the first time in 40 years of working I quit a job. I actually quit. No job in the wings, no solid prospects I quit... talk about embracing change. In the past I would have stressed and stayed. Retiring however has brought about a new liberation; the ability to walk away from what does not make me happy or satisfied. During the same time period I learned a lesson when it comes to working with "quasi" family. Apparently some "quasi" family are of the opinion that they can stiff you when it comes to honoring their obligations. I have always felt that chasing people down to get paid is such an unattractive effort. But it is definetly an effort worth pursuing especially if you provided a service in earnest that your business associate benefited from and, also worth pursuing in order to ensure they honored their agreement. Needless to say that association ended (after payment was received of course).
Then a call from a former boss saying "have I got an opportunity for you". And, it turned out to be a great opportunity consulting in my area of expertise. A new adventure working almost 3000 miles from home. I went from having no frequent flyer miles to being an "A List" member in just weeks and from having no hotel points to being a Platinum Card holder. The consulting resulted in a lot of miles and, a lot of hotel meals. I liked the company, enjoyed the challenge and the folks I worked with were and are truly genuine. A position became available and I opted to stay on as an executive with the company. More change to embrace. For the first time in my adult life I am living on my own, my husband and family remain at home and we commute. I married young at 18 and moved from my parent's home to an apartment with my husband and from the point forward - 2 marriages and 3 children I have always lived with other people. So imagine the change going from always being surrounded by folks and cooking for several people to coming home to solitude and cooking for one. Believe me it is a change to embrace... and everyone should experience it.
I live in an area of the country where the scenary is the main attraction, beautiful mountains, great trails, and the most expansive sky I have ever seen. The pace is slower but the experience very sweet.
So at 56 I am still chasing adventure and embracing change. I am buying a road bike in the spring. I bought a jeep upon relocation and am preparing for "jeeping" and off-roading on the designated trails. My plan is to get back into running or at least walking on a regular basis.
2011 was a pretty good year. It was the year I decided to do things that were good for me. Embracing the change and enjoying it!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
The Politics of It All
Today a new House of Representatives was sworn in and it was overwhelmingly Republican. And, if you listened to the rhetoric they spewed as they departed from their various homes they are all going to Washington to put the political process back on track. They are going to put the stops on spending, be more ethical and give the American people exactly what they want.
But, have you ever really listened to what American's want?
Americans want to be paid more for their manufacturing work which has a direct impact on the cost of goods but, they don't want to pay more for the goods they produce.
Americans are outraged at the cost of healthcare in this country and the health services they cannot afford but, they don't want affordable healthcare for everyone.
Americans don't want taxes to be increased but, they want the debt paid down.
Americans bitch and moan about how Third World students are filling our college classrooms and taking our jobs overseas but, they don't want to spend dollars to improve our educational system and resultantly increase the number of kids graduating from high school with a quality education and improving their chances for getting into college.
Americans complain about the state of our environment but, don't want laws implemented that will actually protect the environment.
Americans complain about the cost of fuel but, don't support efforts to create more energy efficient alternative vehicles.
So when the Republicans say they are coming to Washington to give Americans exactly what they want; based on everything these freshman have said I believe they will be true to their word and give Americans exactly what they asked for .... no change... nothing.
But, have you ever really listened to what American's want?
Americans want to be paid more for their manufacturing work which has a direct impact on the cost of goods but, they don't want to pay more for the goods they produce.
Americans are outraged at the cost of healthcare in this country and the health services they cannot afford but, they don't want affordable healthcare for everyone.
Americans don't want taxes to be increased but, they want the debt paid down.
Americans bitch and moan about how Third World students are filling our college classrooms and taking our jobs overseas but, they don't want to spend dollars to improve our educational system and resultantly increase the number of kids graduating from high school with a quality education and improving their chances for getting into college.
Americans complain about the state of our environment but, don't want laws implemented that will actually protect the environment.
Americans complain about the cost of fuel but, don't support efforts to create more energy efficient alternative vehicles.
So when the Republicans say they are coming to Washington to give Americans exactly what they want; based on everything these freshman have said I believe they will be true to their word and give Americans exactly what they asked for .... no change... nothing.
Monday, January 3, 2011
The Relationship Blister
Okay so I have come to the conclusion that female relationships, whether they are between sisters, girlfriends, moms and daughters or co-workers, are like blisters. Think about it. A blister is caused by friction between two elements rubbing together; usually it is something like the heel of your foot and the back of your shoe rubbing against each other or, your hand and a shovel. Once the blister is formed a protective fluid builds over the tender area and the skin expands, it bubbles up and if you are patient it dries up and the skin underneath is just like new. If you are not patient and you burst it, the area becomes even more tender then hard and brittle and always keeps a little callous over the area....
So how does this compare to female relationships? You have your friendship or relationship and you have words,probably meaningless to most other folks, but enough to create "friction" in your relationship. The next thing you know you are both filling up with emotion. Now this is where it gets tricky. What do you do? Do you exercise patience and give yourselves an opportunity to heal. Like the blister you let the relationship heal while it remains protected under the emotion bubble. In the relationship this equates to letting the dust settle and the emotions becoming a little less raw before having another conversation or, broaching the subject again. The tenderness however reminds you of the relationship and how fragile sometimes relationships can be. Hopefully it is also enough to keep you mindful that the relationship is there and you want to preserve it. When you don't exercise patience and force a conversation that perhaps the other party isn't yet ready for it is like bursting the blister. The sensitive topic is pricked before parties are ready for discussion the emotion is drained out but not necessarily in a positive way and, as a result, the relationship is left with a bit of a scar and perhaps a bit of a callous. Leaving it changed and maybe even for a period of time a bit uncomfortable.
So, as with blisters female relationships sometimes need protective measures. Runners use something called Easy Glide you rub it on the sensitive areas of the foot before putting on your socks and it eases the friction as you run. In your relationship Easy Glide can be synonymous with tact. We sometimes take our longstanding relationships for granted and figure we can say anything and our friend, sister, mom or daughter will "get over it" after all you are just being direct. But don't underestimate the power of tact or putting on a little easy glide every now and then. Just because they are your best friend, mom or sister doesn't mean that their feelings don't sometimes get hurt.
All relationships take work, female relationships take lots of work. So don't forget to use your easy glide from time to time.
So how does this compare to female relationships? You have your friendship or relationship and you have words,probably meaningless to most other folks, but enough to create "friction" in your relationship. The next thing you know you are both filling up with emotion. Now this is where it gets tricky. What do you do? Do you exercise patience and give yourselves an opportunity to heal. Like the blister you let the relationship heal while it remains protected under the emotion bubble. In the relationship this equates to letting the dust settle and the emotions becoming a little less raw before having another conversation or, broaching the subject again. The tenderness however reminds you of the relationship and how fragile sometimes relationships can be. Hopefully it is also enough to keep you mindful that the relationship is there and you want to preserve it. When you don't exercise patience and force a conversation that perhaps the other party isn't yet ready for it is like bursting the blister. The sensitive topic is pricked before parties are ready for discussion the emotion is drained out but not necessarily in a positive way and, as a result, the relationship is left with a bit of a scar and perhaps a bit of a callous. Leaving it changed and maybe even for a period of time a bit uncomfortable.
So, as with blisters female relationships sometimes need protective measures. Runners use something called Easy Glide you rub it on the sensitive areas of the foot before putting on your socks and it eases the friction as you run. In your relationship Easy Glide can be synonymous with tact. We sometimes take our longstanding relationships for granted and figure we can say anything and our friend, sister, mom or daughter will "get over it" after all you are just being direct. But don't underestimate the power of tact or putting on a little easy glide every now and then. Just because they are your best friend, mom or sister doesn't mean that their feelings don't sometimes get hurt.
All relationships take work, female relationships take lots of work. So don't forget to use your easy glide from time to time.
Happy New Year and welcome to 2011. This is the year that I hope everyone's dreams come true, that your hard work pays off and that fun, love and laughter come easy.
A review of 2010. What an interesting year... Lessons learned 1)Only work with "friends" under an iron clad contract and only after checking their financial solvency. 2) When you enter into a business venture with your daughter's best friend prepare yourself for friction. 3)Not every "volunteer" works for free. 4) Don't lose faith, prayers do get answered.
Working for "friends". So, in 2010 I agreed to work with a person that I knew growing up and who, in our adult business lives, had done business together. It all started well. I worked my butt off to rewrite charters, put together business plans, meet with clients and help her to become successful. Then after a reception I made a very innocent and benign Facebook posting congratulating some folks on a job well done. The status update included the names of the two clients we were working with and with that, the metamorphosis started I was prohibited from referencing the clients by name anywhere... I really think her behavior had more to do with the fact that her clients wanted to engage me in more of the discussions. The downward spiral started with a very unprofessional email, followed by failure to return my phone calls or respond to my emails and was finally wrapped up by delayed payment for services rendered. It took me 6 months to obtain final payment. The services performed were above expectation and the feedback from participants excellent. My own observation; folks have to be comfortable with their competencies and skill sets and not be intimidated by folks that bring expertise to the table.
Entering a business venture with your daughter's best friend. During 2010 I entered into a business venture with my daughter's best friend. We opened a hair salon - ZURI Total Image. She brought years of experience working in the industry and I brought years of operations management together we make a good team and our salon is starting to flourish. What I wasn't expecting was the friction that the partnership created in the relationship between my daughter and her friend and me and my daughter. So my lesson learned, before entering into a venture with a daughter's best friend take into consideration the dynamic it may create in the relationships around you and address them head on with open dialogue.
Not every volunteer works for free or, somethings never change. This summer as I was preparing for our mom/daughter/granddaughter vacation I received a call asking if I would be interested in volunteering with the United Way during their fundraising campaign season. After reading the job description and a conversation I agreed. I had been referred by my former CEO as he was the Fundraising Campaign Chairperson. Normally the organization would loan an executive to support this process. The loaned executive stays on the payroll but works for the UW for a four month period. Well with all the rightsizing, retirements etc apparently IBC had no one to loan so they suggested they reach out to a few retirees to see if anyone was interested. Wow I thought, what a great way to give back. And, it was explained as a volunteer opportunity. Well 2 days into training a woman sitting next to me asked "who is sponsoring you?"... "sponsoring me" i asked "oh no one I'm a retiree". "So am I" she responded "but I am being sponsored by ABC company they are paying me via a stipend for the four month engagement". No one ever spoke to me about it until I had a meeting with a VP at the UW. She explained she thought it was wrong but folks told her to move forward anyway... The upside to this, when you are a 100% non-sponsored volunteer, when you are done working for the day you leave and, if you want a three day weekend you make it or take it. Volunteerism is fulfilling and it was a great experience but read the fine print...
Keep the faith, prayers do get answered. After a year of trying on new things to see what fit I continued to pray for an employment opportunity. And in December my prayers were answered I was offered a position, working back in the insurance industry. I start January 2011... Keep the faith and Happy New Year.
A review of 2010. What an interesting year... Lessons learned 1)Only work with "friends" under an iron clad contract and only after checking their financial solvency. 2) When you enter into a business venture with your daughter's best friend prepare yourself for friction. 3)Not every "volunteer" works for free. 4) Don't lose faith, prayers do get answered.
Working for "friends". So, in 2010 I agreed to work with a person that I knew growing up and who, in our adult business lives, had done business together. It all started well. I worked my butt off to rewrite charters, put together business plans, meet with clients and help her to become successful. Then after a reception I made a very innocent and benign Facebook posting congratulating some folks on a job well done. The status update included the names of the two clients we were working with and with that, the metamorphosis started I was prohibited from referencing the clients by name anywhere... I really think her behavior had more to do with the fact that her clients wanted to engage me in more of the discussions. The downward spiral started with a very unprofessional email, followed by failure to return my phone calls or respond to my emails and was finally wrapped up by delayed payment for services rendered. It took me 6 months to obtain final payment. The services performed were above expectation and the feedback from participants excellent. My own observation; folks have to be comfortable with their competencies and skill sets and not be intimidated by folks that bring expertise to the table.
Entering a business venture with your daughter's best friend. During 2010 I entered into a business venture with my daughter's best friend. We opened a hair salon - ZURI Total Image. She brought years of experience working in the industry and I brought years of operations management together we make a good team and our salon is starting to flourish. What I wasn't expecting was the friction that the partnership created in the relationship between my daughter and her friend and me and my daughter. So my lesson learned, before entering into a venture with a daughter's best friend take into consideration the dynamic it may create in the relationships around you and address them head on with open dialogue.
Not every volunteer works for free or, somethings never change. This summer as I was preparing for our mom/daughter/granddaughter vacation I received a call asking if I would be interested in volunteering with the United Way during their fundraising campaign season. After reading the job description and a conversation I agreed. I had been referred by my former CEO as he was the Fundraising Campaign Chairperson. Normally the organization would loan an executive to support this process. The loaned executive stays on the payroll but works for the UW for a four month period. Well with all the rightsizing, retirements etc apparently IBC had no one to loan so they suggested they reach out to a few retirees to see if anyone was interested. Wow I thought, what a great way to give back. And, it was explained as a volunteer opportunity. Well 2 days into training a woman sitting next to me asked "who is sponsoring you?"... "sponsoring me" i asked "oh no one I'm a retiree". "So am I" she responded "but I am being sponsored by ABC company they are paying me via a stipend for the four month engagement". No one ever spoke to me about it until I had a meeting with a VP at the UW. She explained she thought it was wrong but folks told her to move forward anyway... The upside to this, when you are a 100% non-sponsored volunteer, when you are done working for the day you leave and, if you want a three day weekend you make it or take it. Volunteerism is fulfilling and it was a great experience but read the fine print...
Keep the faith, prayers do get answered. After a year of trying on new things to see what fit I continued to pray for an employment opportunity. And in December my prayers were answered I was offered a position, working back in the insurance industry. I start January 2011... Keep the faith and Happy New Year.
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